Our Next Trial

 The next Sack family ordeal is now on the calendar.

Eight days ago (October 17th) Horyon noticed a lump in her breast. The next day she talked to the nurse at her school, who recommended, insisted, that she go to a clinic the same day.

Horyon went to a clinic on Monday, where they took a biopsy, and guessed it was cancer. (Spoiler alert: they were right.) They also took blood, and made a follow-up appointment for Thursday (Oct. 21st). 

The next day, Horyon started talking to an uncle who is a doctor in Seoul. Busan is a big city, with good hospitals and clinics, but Seoul is where the talent focuses in Korea. She made a couple of appointments in Seoul for October 25th, 

They confirmed that it was cancer. One lump is about 1.2 cm (that's less than half an inch), and they found two smaller lumps in the same breast. Nothing in the other, but couldn't tell us much beyond that. This is still the discovery phase, and Seoul is the place to go for more detail.

We had not talked with our friends about it at this point. We hadn't even told the kids, though I'm sure they noticed that we were both more tired than usual. We told them Thursday night, at my insistence. They had a few questions, and there was some crying, but they took it well. The next day Maxine asked what stage it was, so she had clearly done some research at school. At that point, we had no answer.

On Sunday we told our church friends after the service. There was a lot of praying, and crying, and sympathy, and offers of help in the times ahead. It was a huge relief to share the news. It's unbelievable how tempting it is to just not talk to anyone when something like this happens. It's not even a conscious decision, you just don't want to tell people about it. I explained it three times to different groups of friends, then couldn't do it anymore. 

We had lunch with my friend, Tim Taylor. His wife died of lung cancer less than a year ago, and he had a lot to offer us, besides Thai food for lunch. (Which, for the record, was very, very good!)

 She told me yesterday that she was starting to feel pain where there was none before.

This morning (Monday, October 25th) I drove Horyon to the train station for a 5:30 train to Seoul. She had some more tests done, all the standard cancer diagnostics, and another biopsy. I came home, got the kids off to school, and taught my one hour of Monday classes in a more scattered state than usual.

Then I got a message from Horyon: she will go back to Seoul November 9th for a sonogram, then again for the results before the surgery, which is scheduled for November 26th. A month from today. The doctor told her that it looks like early stage cancer, and she did well to find it and act on it so quickly.

In short, we still have a tough hill to climb. I am not a worrier, but this has been a test of my faith. I am not looking forward to seeing how God will grow me through this. I suspect that God is planning a major renovation in our lives, and like most renovations it will be messy while it happens, but worth it when it's finished.

The rest of this post is a political slant on our story. If you would rather not have your ideas challenged, feel free to skip it.

A big piece of good news for us is that we live in a country (South Korea) that has basically socialized medicine. The national insurance (a government run provider) will pay 95% of the costs. You see, socialized medicine is really, really bad news for some people: the people who make money off of health insurance. The health conglomerates that charge incredible rates to insurance companies that use those rates to justify the hefty premiums you pay, and squeeze you for whatever they can. Horyon just showed up, gave them her info, and it was done. She got a series of 10 tests done today, total cost about US$260, and that's before insurance!* It costs what it actually costs, and the health insurance pays most of it!

*Big correction! I misunderstood Horyon's message. The $260 price tag was after national health insurance paid. The pre-insurance cost was closer to $800. Still, at $800 for a complete series of tests like this feels very cheap to most Americans!

I have never been so relieved, even happy, to not live in the United States. I love my home country, but I know that some Americans will read this and call me a liar or a shill or an idiot. Have I bought into socialized medicine? HELL YES. Don't believe everything rich people tell you. If we had stayed in the States, on my teacher salary and her working out of our home, this would have been a heavy blow. There is not much point in speculating about it, but in our four years living there I paid so much in health insurance, and still ended up using free clinics because I couldn't afford the premiums.

Allow me to elaborate on the phrase "basically socialized medicine." A few years ago, Horyon started to worry about getting cancer, as there is a history in her family. So she got cancer insurance. (I can't get it until I lose a fair bit of weight, but that is another blog post.) It is a monthly expense that proved to be a wise investment. This insurance paid out immediately on her diagnosis, a chunk of cash that will cover traveling back and forth to Seoul, that missing 5%, and other things that will make this whole thing so much less stressful.

You see, you can get better insurance if you want. And for people without insurance, you can still go to hospitals and clinics. It's expensive, but it costs what it costs, not what the companies think they can squeeze out of you.

But enough soap boxing. Feel free to email me if you want to continue the conversation. Or unfriend me on Facebook if you would rather feel good than be informed.

1 Corinthians 8 Sermon

 The spring semester was a tough one for me. I was feeling overwhelmed by my third semester of working from home. As my friend Jon put it, "It's not so much working from home as living at work." So I declined to write any sermons until summer vacation. To be precise, August 8th. With another member giving two sermons after mine, we managed to swing a 3-week break for our pastor, Micah Mercer.

Micah has been preaching through Paul's first letter to the church at Corinth, a church that had multiple issues to deal with. I ended up dealing with the chapter on eating food that had been offered to idols. It was just a matter of scheduling, and was in no way a subtle hint to me that I should stop going to Aphrodite's, no matter how good their sauce is.

Of course, I am including the full text of the sermon here, but I did make a few changes, including one last minute addition suggested by Matthew Ambrosia. I started the video a little early, because Horyon read the scripture that day. There is also a high-pitched whine from our sound system. Sorry, but I can't do anything about that.

Knowledge vs. Love            August 9th, 2020

But take care that this right of yours does not somehow become a stumbling block to the weak.
For if anyone sees you, who have knowledge, eating in an idol's temple, will he not be encouraged, if his conscience is weak, to eat food offered to idols? And so by your knowledge this weak person is destroyed, the brother for whom Christ died. Thus, sinning against your brothers and wounding their conscience when it is weak, you sin against Christ. Therefore, if food makes my brother stumble, I will never eat meat, lest I make my brother stumble.

1 Corinthians 8:9-13

I’m going to start today by taking us back to a possible version of Corinth in the early days of the church, to attend a maybe event with a hypothetical new Christian. I’ve given him the ancient Greek name George.

George is way beyond nervous. His hands are cold and sweaty. His lungs don’t want to breathe on their own. The smells are familiar, delicious. Raising appetites of the flesh that he has not had to struggle with for the past few weeks since becoming a believer. He can almost taste it now: the meat of bulls. The meat of pigs. The meat of chickens. His stomach is stirring.

But there is more. The smell of the temple incense that used to make his head light and his heart pound and his body awaken. It used to be something he looked forward to, but now it makes him feel maybe a little sick.

He remembers the taste of the strong wine, the memory of the freedom it brought, to him, and to the servers, and to the other guests. The freedom to follow the urges of the body, to be filled and emptied. Now more than his stomach is stirring.

Dinner is supposed to be fun, but dinner here, at the temple of Aphrodite, brings back too many memories. But he trusts his brothers who brought him here. They have been following The Way for years, and when they say that this meal is just a meal, they must surely be right.

But it reminds him of so many good times… Maybe he’ll come back tomorrow, without his brothers...

Just to be clear, I am filling in a lot of blanks with this story, and honestly, I was fishing for a worst case scenario. But I honestly believe that Paul was, too. Because Paul was experienced. He knew that the worst could always happen, and often did.

The church at Corinth did not leave us with much evidence of their existence: there's no church building being excavated by archaeologists, because they most likely met in homes. No publications, like newsletters, or documents or websites. We don’t even have a list of their members. We know about the city itself from a few historical sources, and we have Paul’s letters to them. But not the letters they sent to Paul.

From these sources, we know that they were a real mixed bag. People with some very different backgrounds, much like us here at Redeemer ICC: there were some Jews who likely attended the synagogue in town, in addition to following this new Way of Jesus Christ. There are references elsewhere to members who were not Jewish, but “Fearers of God,” people who believed in God but hadn’t taken the steps to become Jewish. Maybe one step in particular. Snip-snip. And there would have been many gentiles: those who had come directly to this New Way from pagan religions: worshippers of Aphrodite, Apollo, and dozens of other so-called gods. Perhaps even some who had been agnostic.

As we have learned, Paul founded the church at Corinth just a few years before writing this letter: he knew them, he loved them, and he wanted them to succeed. He uses pretty harsh language with them in this letter, but only because he wants them to grow in their faith.

And two weeks ago, Micah drew our attention to this fundamental instruction:

“So, brothers, in whatever condition each was called, there let him remain with God.”

1 Corinthians 7:24

Whatever your background, wherever you are starting from, it is good enough. God’s grace is an unearned gift for all. And God’s grace alone can bridge the gap between you and God. This week Paul is teaching us to apply that same grace to each other.

Our memory verse for the next three weeks is 1 Corinthians 10:23-24:

“All things are lawful,” but not all things are helpful.
“All things are lawful,” but not all things build up.
Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor.

1 Corinthians 10:23-24

This is our memory verse, because we are studying chapter 8 today, and chapters 9 and 10 in the next two weeks. These three chapters build up and support this main idea. He starts here, in chapter 8, on the topic of eating food offered to idols. The debate over the acceptability of eating idol meat seems totally irrelevant to us today, but when we break it down into motivations and relationships, we find deeper issues that we still struggle with today.

Chapter 8 focuses on the relationship between knowledge and love. Paul does this by taking a simple yes/no question, and answering it with shades of grey. The kind of wisdom that gets your letters included in the Bible.

So here’s the simple version of the chapter 8 story:

The church at Corinth had a disagreement over whether or not it was acceptable to eat meat that had been offered to idols. This was a serious issue, both to them and to Paul, but we can’t be absolutely sure of why. For the Corinthians, “idol meat” may have been a part of social engagement: making connections, meeting people, having events. Or it may have been a ritual cleanliness issue for the practicing Jews in the congregation. It may have even been a simple matter of whether or not meat was on the menu. If the only butcher shop in your neighborhood is a temple to Artemis, which for sure isn’t kosher, do you go vegetarian?

Apparently some people from the church wrote to Paul looking for vindication, for Paul to say that they were correct in their knowledge of idols. They knew that idols are not real gods, and therefore meat sacrificed to them is not inherently good or evil. Paul writes to them, likely quoting their own words, telling them that “knowledge” (in quotes, their words), “knowledge” puffs up, but love builds up. You know what it means to put words in quotes like that, right? It’s saying, “These aren’t MY words! I do not take responsibility for them!” Paul writes:

Now concerning food offered to idols: we know that “all of us possess knowledge.” This “knowledge” puffs up, but love builds up. If anyone imagines that he knows something, he does not yet know as he ought to know. But if anyone loves God, he is known by God.

1 Corinthians 8:1-3

In other words, being known by God is more important than what you know about God.
It’s a pretty harsh criticism. Paul is basically taking sides with those in the church who have weaker faith. He’s shutting down those who are further along in their faith journey. They may have even been the elders of this very young church. The very leaders who Paul himself likely appointed.

But then he goes on to affirm that what they said was true: idols aren’t real gods, at least not to us Christians. That is..

Therefore, as to the eating of food offered to idols,
we know that “an idol has no real existence,”
and that “there is no God but one.”
For although there may be so-called gods in heaven or on earth—
as indeed there are many “gods” and many “lords”—

Yet for us there is only one God, the Father,
from whom are all things and for whom we exist,
and one Lord, Jesus Christ,
through whom are all things and through whom we exist.

1 Corinthians 8:4-6

So this feels like a big, heavy fact, right after Paul told them that knowledge is not the most important thing. He is likely quoting a sort of early catechism or hymn, something they would have all been familiar with. And it sounds like he’s agreeing with them.

But then he adds a twist:

“However, not all possess this knowledge. But some, through former association with idols, eat food as really offered to an idol, and their conscience, being weak, is defiled.”

1 Corinthians 8:7

In other words, what you believe to be a sin is very important. Because sin is betraying God. Sin is turning your back on God willfully. And these believers are being convinced by their brothers that it is okay, in this case, to betray God. Like our theoretical George from the beginning of the sermon. Hold on to that idea, the idea that they are being convinced that it's okay to betray God.

Food will not commend us to God. We are no worse off if we do not eat, and no better off if we do.

1 Corinthians 8:8

It feels like Paul is backing off here, like, “Hey, food’s not a big deal either way!” Don’t be fooled. This is the calm before the real storm hits.

But take care that this right of yours does not somehow become a stumbling block to the weak. For if anyone sees you who have knowledge eating in an idol's temple, will he not be encouraged, if his conscience is weak, to eat food offered to idols? And so by your knowledge this weak person is destroyed, the brother for whom Christ died.  Thus, sinning against your brothers and wounding their conscience when it is weak, you sin against Christ.

1 Corinthians 8:9-12

If by your knowledge you destroy a person of weaker faith, you sin against Christ. Betraying God is bad, but convincing someone else to betray God is also bad. Maybe worse.

Who is Paul talking to, warning us not to break the weak? He’s talking to the strong. Those who are strong in faith. Those who are strong in knowledge. The ones that we are all striving to be. He's talking to us.

He finishes by displaying his commitment to this principal:

Therefore, if food makes my brother stumble, I will never eat meat, lest I make my brother stumble.

1 Corinthians 8:13

I almost made this our memory verse. Because it's so powerful, and it would have been worth it just to hear James recite it.

We can read chapter 8 of 1st Corinthians in this very simple way, and come away with some really good ideas. “Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up,” from verse 1. Or that last verse, about not eating meat. But until we can map their 1st century understanding onto ours in the 21st century, it’s hard to get anything practical out of it. So I’m going to walk us through an example.

One modern parallel to the Corinthian church’s struggle with idol meat is the Korean church’s struggle with alcohol. It’s not a perfect parallel, but there are definitely similarities.

If you've been here for long, and spent time in Korean churches or with Korean Christians, you may have noticed that a lot of Korean churches (and some American churches as well), have very strict policies about their members drinking alcohol. It is common for churches to require their elders to sign a contract promising to never drink alcohol at all. This is an understandable response to a culture that not only accepts drunkenness, but in some cases almost demands it. In recent years I have heard of more young Koreans, both Christians and non-Christians, refusing to submit to this culture. But in the not-so-distant past, 15 or 20 years, Korea was very highly ranked in the world for alcohol consumption.

I will admit that when I first came to Korea, many moons ago, I was critical of these “no alcohol” policies from churches. I would argue against them. I brought mad knowledge to the conversation:

Jesus went to a wedding and turned water into wine. FACT.
People drank wine all the time, rarely drinking water. FACT.
At the last supper when Jesus said, “This is my blood you drink,” he wasn’t holding up water. He wasn’t holding up grape juice. What was he holding up? Wine. FACT.

Of course, they responded with facts of their own:
 
Some holy people in the Bible took vows to not consume wine, so drinking must be bad. FACT.
Prov. 20 verse 1  Wine is a mocker, strong drink a brawler, and whoever is led astray by it is not wise. FACT
And the list of people in the Bible who drank too much and got into trouble is a long one. We can talk about Noah. We can talk about Abraham’s nephew Lot. We can talk about Samson, and we can probably drag in a few other Judges and kings as well. FACT FACT FACT FACT FACT.

And that’s the way we like to make decisions. We use facts to bolster arguments one way or the other. Facts are little pieces of knowledge, and Paul told us at the top that knowledge “puffs up.” What does he mean by that, that we're puffed up? When do you feel and act bigger than you actually are? That's when pride takes over. Arrogance. Being absolutely sure that you are right. Not just right, but BETTER than those guys. I felt like a better Christian than those Korean Christians. This is a danger for all of us. In the Great Fact War, the Bible can often provide plenty of ammunition for both sides, and it’s so easy to puff yourself up with knowledge.

But Paul, here in chapter 8, only talks about the facts long enough to dismiss them. He basically says, “Drinking alcohol is okay, but if my drinking causes someone else to sin and lose their salvation, then I will never drink again!”

Therefore, if food makes my brother stumble, I will never eat meat, lest I make my brother stumble.

1 Corinthians 8:13

Does that mean that we should never drink, to support our Korean brothers and sisters? I don’t think so. At least not in a broad, general way.

But we must be careful. Imagine you are out with a Christian friend, and they are really bothered when you order a beer. Perhaps they struggle with alcoholism or addiction, and that might manifest as questioning your faith. In that case, maybe it’s a wiser choice to switch to a soft drink, rather than insisting that alcohol is not a big deal, and not a sin, and to push the issue, even pressuring your friend to have a drink.

But along with your non-alcoholic beverage, have a conversation about it. Because it is clear that Paul is not telling anyone to just shut up and do what he says. He says, “Love builds up,” and that happens through communication. It’s gradual. It’s relational. And it rarely happens in one sitting.

We talked about pride puffing us up. What is the opposite of pride? Humility. Putting others before yourself. And the simplest way to start is by just listening. You can respectfully ask, “Why is drinking such a big problem?” Then listen. Don’t think about what you will say next. Don’t line up your facts and prepare your rebuttal. Just listen, and try to understand.

The answer will probably be important to your friend. It will very likely lead to building up your relationship, because listening and understanding is how we build relationships. So it's a good question, “Why is alcohol important to you?” But a more important question is this: What does the Bible have to say about it? Not just because we find truth and wisdom in the Bible, which we do. It’s good because when people discuss the Bible in good faith, not seeking to dominate each other, the Holy Spirit inhabits those conversations. We understand each other better, and through that we love each other more perfectly.

It was not my intention to make this entire sermon about drinking alcohol, and I apologize if it's come off that way. My example expanded to fill a lot of time. But this philosophy can be applied in many different areas, including ones that are a lot stickier than the alcohol question.

At the heart of the Gospel is the fact that you cannot save yourself. No matter how much you know about God, or about God’s Word, or about God’s Law, it is infinitely more important that God knows you. And in spite of knowing you completely, God loves you enough to die for you. The only proper response is to love God back.

Jesus answered, “The most important [commandment] is, ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”

Mark 12:29-31

So much of the Bible is just showing us what it looks like to love God and love your neighbor, and Paul was an expert in both.

In addressing this long forgotten battle over meat offered to idols, Paul has set aside the importance of being “right” or “wrong.” Instead he offers us nuance, and suggests sympathy.
In the end, his strategy for us is the same one that Jesus both offered and demonstrated: self denial. Setting aside my wants and needs in favor of my sisters and brothers in Christ. Not allowing my knowledge, even my knowledge of God to puff me up.

Look at the example set by Jesus himself,

...who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.

Philippians 2:6-8

He emptied himself to build us up.

Paul shows us that sometimes the answers aren’t simple, but the results are. If I am building up my brothers and sisters through love, then I am doing it right.

Having correct theology is good, no doubt. But it is clear that love is far more than having a perfect collection of facts and knowledge. Love for your neighbor means that you are willing to give up your freedom to avoid their damnation. God’s grace for us is unearned, and out of that abundance, we give grace to others.

I want to take us back to our hypothetical meal in Corinth, with George and his friends.

As George and his friends sit down to order some food, John notices that something is not quite right.

“George, are you okay brother? You're looking a little uncomfortable.”
 
George is quick to reply, “No, no, no, I’m fine. I’m fine.”

Paul looks up from the menu at George. He sees hunger and need, mixed with worry, fear, and uncertainty. And suddenly he remembers that George is still new to the Way of Jesus. That George has come a long way, but not so far that he can’t see where he came from.  “We’re getting out of here. Come on, George. Let’s go.”

They get up, they apologize to the master of the house, and they leave. When they get outside, George takes a deep breath. He feels the freedom of his baptism again. “Thank you, brothers. I think the enemy almost had me there!”

“It’s no trouble,” says Paul. “Let’s go to Yoko’s Salad Emporium.” And they do.

But Ringo stays. His faith is strong, he loves smoked ribs, and the sauce at Aphrodite’s is hard to beat.

God was there... (Faith Journey pt. 2)

 

Wow. It's been 20 months since I published part one.  Perhaps I can finish part three in a more timely manner. Or not. On with the show!

Nepal is a country in which Christians are a very small minority. In the early 90s, they made up less than one percent of the population. [All of my numbers on this come from the Nepali Census, the latest of which was in 2011.] Now it is approaching two percent (1.4%), but the vast majority of Nepalis are still Hindus (81.3%) with some Buddhists (9.0%) and Muslims (4.4%). During the two years that I lived in Nepal, I never went to an organized church service. I organized a few small ones myself, attended by maybe half a dozen fellow volunteers, but never set foot in a church building.

In our training, and in all the promotional materials for Peace Corps, it was strongly emphasized that we were not allowed to proselytize. The Peace Corps has to maintain a strictly secular image in order to be effective in countries where it is against the law to preach other religions. We did learn that it was acceptable to talk about our religion if asked, but that we shouldn't push it. So I didn't.

I know. To my Christian friends, this sounds like a spiritual desert, which in some ways it was.

But there was spirituality everywhere. I boarded with a Hindu family. I woke every morning to the smell of incense (to attract good spirits) and the jing-a-ling of a little bell (to scare away bad spirits). I know that some families acknowledge God every day though prayers, but this family offered a very multi-sensory appeal to their gods.*

*In the Old Testament there is a recipe for incense that is only to be used in the Temple at Jerusalem, which people are not to use in their homes, or anywhere else. I'm pretty sure this family bought theirs at the little store in the village.

The men in the family wear a Janai (holy thread) under their clothing, looped over one shoulder and under the opposite arm. It was a constant reminder of their faith, hidden from public view most of the time, but always there. And I'm ashamed to admit that I don't remember a lot of details about it, even though Ramesh, the father of the family I lived with, wore one and explained it a bit to me.

When I first met Ramesh, his head was shaved completely. He was nearing the end of a year of mourning the death of his father. Some of my scholarly Christian friends may argue that these death rituals are not acceptable to God, but one cannot deny the spirituality of his actions. Such a visible alteration to one's body for a year would be a reminder to oneself, and everyone who sees it, that life encompasses more than just the span that we witness. This daily physical act of removing part of one's body must have prompted him to ponder the loss of his closest teacher.

Ramesh's family rarely ate meat, because you couldn't just go to the store and buy meat: their village was too small for a regular butcher. Killing an animal for food was a process involving anointing the animal with milk, burning incense, and having it chanted over by a hired holy man.* I could not understand the words, but this was a religious service held in order to put meat on the menu! Most Americans consume meat without making any connection outside of their wallet. It is just food, like any other purchased from the grocery store (except that it tastes super delicious). From a Christian perspective, you can easily argue that God gave Man dominion over the animals, which frees us to not make that connection. But you could also argue that believers in Biblical times rarely ate meat without being aware of it on a personal level (being an animal that they had raised and tended), and often a directly spiritual level (if the animal was being offered as a sacrifice to God).

*An expensive process for sure. And sharing two pigeons among a family with nine children, three adults, and myself meant that no one actually consumed very much meat. By the time the dog finished gnawing on the heads, all that was left was a pile of feathers a pair of beaks, and a few chirps.

I even occasionally met Christian families who had their little home shrines set up with pictures of Jesus in them. Often just a nook in the wall, with incense, strings of flowers, brass lamps, and sometimes little offerings of food or coins.

This is large scale. Imagine a medicine cabinet sized version
with flat pictures, and maybe a couple of action figure-sized statues.

 

The pictures of Jesus are in the same style as the pictures of Shiva and Vishnu and the rest of the Hindu pantheon.

This is somewhat representative of the style of art seen in these shrines.

Sometimes alongside them.

I never saw this one in Nepal. Jesus usually had his own frame,
like the other gods. But Mom always told me that Jesus
wants us to share, so maybe he's setting an example here.

Whatever you may think of this mixing, you have to admit that it would be cool to go back and add "blue" to the song "Jesus Loves the Little Children."

     Scarlet, orange, green and blue,
          Jesus loves them, you should too!
     Jesus loves the little children of the world!

To return to my point (and not a moment too soon), Nepal was not so much a spiritual desert as an uncharted spiritual ocean, filled with a strange liquid that was not the water I was used to. If I had prayed every time I witnessed something with a spiritual connection, I would not have had time to do much of anything else.

Rather than drowning, I felt like I was scooting along on the surface, like a water bug. In hindsight, I could have attempted to "dive" into Hinduism, even with my meager language skills: I've met many westerners who have. But my curiosity about Hinduism (and Buddhism for that matter) never ran very deep. So in essence, I used my time in Nepal to practice Christianity without much influence from Christian institutions. Like a castaway. And that was good, because everyone needs opportunities to fail. Perhaps even to shipwreck.

I know, I know. It's time to scuttle this metaphor, before I start talking like a pirate.

Mistakes are important. I tell my students very regularly that I require them to make mistakes: it's my number two rule in class, right behind "Speak English." I tell them that mistakes are the best way to learn English, which is true. I also tell them that they should learn to not fear mistakes, in language and life both. I hope that my students to learn to accept themselves as worthy, mistakes and all. I suspect that some of them take it as a license to do the minimum work necessary to pass, but I consider it to be a worthy trade-off for the students who are freed by this directive.

In Nepal I made my share of mistakes, but the 26 months I spent there were not completely dry (Avast!). I read completely through my Bible for the first time in my life. I had read a great deal of it up until then, but never a cover-to-cover reading. So that was a good thing. And... again, without consulting my journals it is difficult to assess my spiritual journey during that time, but I suspect that it was stagnant. I was living without a church, and in a kind of long distance relationship with the capital-C Church. I don't remember any other faith landmarks.

My lifestyle alternated between long slogs of living in the village, and brief intervals with other volunteers. In the village, I had no contact with other foreigners. I did my job, engaged in the very limited conversations I was capable of (no doubt the roots of my "make mistakes rule"), and played lots of solitaire (with actual cards!). I read whatever books I could get my hands on, wrote almost weekly letters to my parents (which are the direct ancestors of the Roblog), and hiked to Phidim every week or two. It was very easy to focus on the difficulties.

Phidim, the district center: a four and a half hour trail hike to my village the first time. My record a year later was less than half that.* Phidim had electricity, was on a drivable road, and was full of people who I didn't see every day. Phidim is where I could get a cold beer or two, a little plate of chicken with my rice, and my mail from home. Phidim is where I learned to drink instant coffee mixed with whole buffalo milk and enough sugar to make the Starbucks mermaid blush. Phidim is where I could maybe get a phone call from home, if we had arranged it in letters previously and the phone gods weren't being vindictive. Phidim's appearance would have made you think "third world," even as that phrase was becoming less socially acceptable.** But at that time, for me, it was very easy to focus on the comforts.

*I believe that my record was around 90 minutes. I wish I knew how far it was and what the total elevation change was. Even with Google Maps it is impossible for me to trace that trail now.

** Third compared to what? By what metrics? Let me guess, a country run by white men who also decide the metrics.

On the rare occasion I got together with large groups of other volunteers, things got crazy. Weeks of tension from isolation were released in just a few days. Lots of drinking, a legendary party or two, once or twice waking up stoned, and the kind of conversations that help you to discover and solidify who you are, what is important to you, and what life is all about. With other volunteers, it was very easy to both have fun and to open up completely.

A quick aside, too large for a footnote: I know that my fellow Peace Corps Volunteers sound like a bunch of trouble makers, but many, if not most of them, were like me: they wanted to make a difference in the world. They wanted to experience the world in a way you couldn't in your home country. They were all college graduates, some with higher degrees. As a whole, they leaned very strongly liberal, somewhat atheist, and were one of the most likeable large groups of people I've ever met. Including church congregations. I have not seen most of them outside of Facebook since we were in Nepal together, and my life is poorer as a result. Shout-out to my RPCV peeps! Aside sockeyo!

Hardships. Comforts. Fun. And squeezed into the cracks, a myopic awareness of God. Maybe someday I will find a way to tell those stories with neither condescension nor glorification. The further in the past they recede, the more they seem like a story I read a long time ago.

Nepal wasn't rock bottom, just a kind of low point. I was turning the volume way down on God, but God was there. In part three I'll hit on another low point, and some high points. Just give me a few months to work it out.

END OF PART 2

Writing the Latest Sermon

This post started as my standard Roblog entry of my latest sermon, but much like the sermon itself, it has become something else.

I was talking with our pastor, Micah, and elder, Matthew on Sunday, September 26th, about our upcoming plans. It came to my attention that in two weeks Micah was planning to have the week off, and there was no plan for the sermon that week. Since I was in the middle of vacation, I offered to fill that gap. My last sermon was in March, and I felt overdue to go through the labor of creating a sermon. Whether that labor is more of a production job or the act of giving birth, I am still not sure.

I was not sure at that time what I would be preaching on. Micah was working through 2 Thessalonians, and wasn't sure whether he would finish that week or the week before. I had been talking with Rick about his preaching, which was working through some significant points in the Old Testament. He had mentioned the possibility of preaching on the Jubilee, from Leviticus, and that sparked something in me. I have been fascinated with the idea of the Jubilee for a long time, and this felt like the time to tackle it. I pitched it to Pastor Micah that Tuesday, and he told me to go for it. That left me with 12 days to assemble my sermon, much less time than my usual 3 or 4 weeks. I started re-reading chapters 25 and 26 of Leviticus, and a sermon in a book of sermons by Walter Brueggemann that I borrowed from Rick far too long ago and which he has not bothered me at all about returning. The sermon was about how dangerous this idea of Jubilee is to a world that worships at the altar of capitalism.

And I was on fire for this sermon! I was looking forward to dragging our congregation into the Torah and showing them where you could find the tools to take apart society and rebuild it into God's Kingdom! I spent Friday that week, nine days before the sermon was due, at Rick's office, researching the Jubilee.

I found that to really grasp the idea of Jubilee, it would help to have an understanding of the seven-year-Sabbath: a year in which the land was to rest, and the people were to have faith that God would not let them starve. And that only really made sense in the light of the weekly Sabbath, which Jewish people still celebrate every week and we do ourselves a disservice by not more closely observing. And the Sabbath really comes into focus when you realize that it is just one of the times that God appointed in Leviticus for Israel to stop and focus on their relationship with God. And those appointed times make much more sense when you realize that they are part of a larger structure of social interactions and laws that govern how God's people get along with each other. These rules clearly stem from the boundaries of holiness that are clearly defined in Leviticus, from how priests should behave in their daily life and their job, to how all of the various kinds of sacrifices should be made, and how the priests were to approach God. 

I decided that I could cover all that in a couple of minutes.

Spoiler alert: I couldn't.

I spent the next week assembling an outline. On the Friday two days before the sermon I started fleshing out my outline, connecting the pieces to help me figure out what was missing. In that process, I came up with "an idea to bracket Leviticus," to set that portion of the sermon apart from the parts about Jubilee. It was beautifully symmetrical, and painted a clear picture of Leviticus that I had never before held in my mind. The problem was that this two minute introduction had grown to more than ten minutes of a sermon which I had intended to last 20 minutes (knowing full well that it would likely be 25, but not at all likely to pass 30).

In addition, my end bracket for Leviticus felt like the end of the sermon. Except that I had my Jubilee ending as well, so I was stuck with a sermon that effectively had two tails. I thought and prayed about it, and came to the conclusion that I had two sermons on my hands. I asked Micah and Matthew what to do, and they agreed that I should run with the more complete sermon of the two, so I started hacking. 

I had to remove some of my favorite parts, because this was no longer a sermon about the Jubilee. I left hints and allusions to them, and a couple of their themes as they fit into the larger structure, but withheld the smackdown that Jubilee brings to the world at large. This was not really painful, because I had already made up my mind that Jubilee still needed, and would get, its own sermon. It's in the works, and will likely show up sometime around November. (It ended up being September 27th.)

So I spent the Friday before it was to be delivered doing surgery on my sermon. I have had to do a lot of writing on sermons later than that, but it was late enough that it should have felt panicky. It didn't, though. It felt like the right move, and it felt blessed. I went to bed late Friday night fairly happy with it. Saturday I went through it a couple of times, reworded a few parts, tweaked here and there, but no major changes. Horyon had it early in the day to translate, but she had a busy day, so she finished after I had gone to bed Saturday night.

I had been working on a theme involving circles, which I illustrated by carrying a kind of shofar with me. Mine is made from the horn of (I believe) a longhorn steer. The shofar was also used to announce the Day of Atonement, Yom Kippur, which is mentioned in the sermon. I held it through the sermon, and gestured towards it a few times. Even mentioned how one like this would be blown for Yom Kippur. But I did not actually blow it until the end, and in fact used it to end the sermon. I believe to good effect.

I have a Korean friend who is the pastor of a little home church. He gives a couple of sermons on Sunday, and another for Wednesday services (which are standard for Korean churches). He preaches through three different books at a time. Doesn't leave much room for procrastination. He recently told me that preparing a sermon can be painful, like giving birth.* I find that most creative efforts are like this. If a deadline is not imposed on me, I will often delay, just to avoid that pain. 

*I realize that comparing the birthing of an idea to the birthing of a child is problematic, in that I have only witnessed the latter, and am missing some key anatomical features involved. But I struggle to come up with a better metaphor, and just can't. So please bear with me if you have actually borne a child.

This Roblog post is an example. The writing itself was no more difficult than usual, but the self-examination in these past few paragraphs gave me an excuse to stall. So I did. And I didn't feel like I could post the sermon until I had this ready to go, so that didn't happen either.

And waiting for these two posts is the latest sermon, this one actually on the Jubilee. The sermon itself was last week, but I couldn't post it without getting this one done, so...

There is also part 2 of my faith journey. It is also suffering birthing pains. It is almost fully formed, but refuses to come into the light.

Enough. This is going up, and the sermon it's about will go up shortly thereafter.

Sermon: Leviticus, a Guide to Holiness

I am publishing this retroactively on the date I delivered the sermon, August 9th, 2020, even though I am writing these words in October. I just want to make this easier to find in the context it was delivered. I have written an entire post about the process of writing this sermon. It's a bit spoilery, so I suggest reading the sermon first.

Here is the video. The whole service is there, but I believe the link will open to the time I start preaching. As usual, scripture references are from the ESV Bible, and are in bold print.

3 “If you walk in my statutes and observe my commandments and do them, 4 then I will give you your rains in their season, and the land shall yield its increase, and the trees of the field shall yield their fruit…

11 I will make my dwelling among you, and my soul shall not abhor you. 12 And I will walk among you and will be your God, and you shall be my people. 13 I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, that you should not be their slaves. And I have broken the bars of your yoke and made you walk erect. Leviticus 26:3-4, 11-13

What do you think of when someone mentions Leviticus? Serious question, I’m looking for hands.

Leviticus is a bit of a puzzle. It starts in chapter one sounding like it’s going to be exciting:

“The Lord called Moses and spoke to him from the tent of meeting, saying, “Speak to the people of Israel and say to them, …’” Leviticus 1:1-2b (NIV)

and we think, “Wow, a conversation with God! This is going to be cool!” But it ends up being a list of instructions. Not instructions for winning a battle, or building an ark, but instructions on how to do basic stuff: how to do offerings and sacrifices, how to prepare the priests to do their jobs, how to behave towards each other, how to eat. And the calendar.

It can be dry reading, and much of it seems irrelevant to us today: we no longer worship God at the Tabernacle or the Temple in Jerusalem, and our lifestyles seem so very different from those of the early Israelites.

But Leviticus actually does something very important: it defines holiness. It is a kind of map, or a blueprint for God’s Kingdom. As Micah has been teaching us in his 2 Thessalonians series, holiness is about setting something aside for a higher purpose, and Leviticus clearly marks those boundaries. The larger patterns we see in Leviticus can help us to understand God’s plan for us.

Leviticus is structured like a series of circles around God, some larger, some smaller, but all centered on God, separating the holy from the common. Like the diameter of a horn, or ripples in a pond after tossing in a stone.

The beginning of Leviticus outlines the guide to the sacrifice of animals, which is the smallest circle. Sacrifice was, and still is, the only way to make ourselves holy enough to approach God. Blood is used to make things and people clean, or holy, 89 times in Leviticus. And each of those procedures were carried out many, many times. Some daily, some multiple times per day. We should not forget how expensive holiness is, nor should we take the blood of Jesus for granted.

The next circle is a guide to holiness for the priests. Only the priests could draw near to God on our behalf, and only they could make sacrifices. The only narrative in Leviticus displays how important this was: two of Aaron’s sons are killed by God for bringing “strange” or “unauthorized” fire before the LORD. Coming into this circle is a dangerous act.

The next larger circle is a guide to holiness for the community. The people of Israel needed to be ceremonially clean to be acceptable to God. These verses deal with what foods they could eat, childbirth, bodily discharges, and bleeding, as well as skin diseases, mildew, and dead things. Only things and people that are clean are acceptable in the circle of God’s community.

The next circle is not really larger or smaller than the previous ones. It’s a circle that sets a time apart: the Day of Atonement, Yom Kippur. This was the time of year, every year, that Israel was drawn closest to God, by confessing their sins. It was signalled by sounding the shofar, a horn, perhaps like this one. On Yom Kippur the sins of the nation are placed on a goat, and the scapegoat carries the sins of the people out of the circle of God’s community, to die in the desert.

The next circle defines a place of holiness, warning that sacrifices are not to be made outside of the tabernacle, or later the temple. This is a reminder that we do not get to decide where God is, or where God is to be approached. We can pray to God from anywhere, but we must enter this circle to be forgiven.

With every rule and law, a circle is drawn, and limits are defined. Using these circles, God’s people can locate themselves in God’s presence, and orient their lives towards God.

The second half of Leviticus is a bit messier. As the circles get larger, they interfere with each other, and Leviticus takes us in a lot of different directions. So we have rules about sexual conduct mixed in with more general rules about being fair to each other. These rules often amount to providing for the poor through daily life decisions, for example by not harvesting 100% of your crops. This would encourage the poor to come and glean what was left. In God’s circle, holiness is often expressed as justice.

There are rules about how the priests should behave in their lives outside of the temple, because true holiness is not something you put on and take off like the priestly garments. The circle is smaller while performing their duties, but it still exists while they are outside, interacting with their neighbors and family.

In the second half of Leviticus we find a call to obedience: a promise of blessings and curses that echoes the promises made by the people of Israel in Exodus and Deuteronomy. A circle that God’s people deliberately step into, promising to have no other gods, promising to stay inside the circles of holiness.

In one section, God appoints special times throughout the year, as periodic reminders of what God has done for us: the Sabbath. The Passover. The Festival of Firstfruits. Pentecost. The Festival of Trumpets. The Day of Atonement. The Festival of Tabernacles. The Sabbath Year, and the Jubilee. These festivals are all worthy of attention, but today I will focus only on the three Sabbath-based holidays:

The Sabbath is another kind of circle in time, again helping us to find God at the center. God commands the people Israel to rest on the Sabbath, to take time to withdraw from the world, from pali-pali culture, from working overtime, and focusing on money. On the Sabbath, there was to be no cooking, no farm work, no buying and selling. All preparations for the Sabbath are made the day before. As we enter the Sabbath circle, we are to leave our distractions outside.

The Sabbath Year is like the Sabbath Day, only on a grand scale: a circle that encompasses one year in seven, rather than one day. We read in Leviticus 25:1-2

The LORD said to Moses on Mount Sinai, “Speak to the people of Israel and say to them: ‘When you come into the land that I give you, the land shall keep a sabbath to the LORD.’” (Leviticus 25:1-2)

The people, who were mostly farmers, were not allowed to work their land. Can you imagine what you would do with a year of setting aside your job? Just you, in this year-wide circle, without the usual things to distract you from the LORD. What would you do? I suspect that the Sabbath Years of old produced a lot of art and music, and perhaps some innovation and exploration of different talents.

Then we come to the Jubilee. Every fifty years there is a Super Sabbath: seven sevens of years. The circle is drawn around the whole nation, and tightened down so that everyone is pulled in close to God.

The Jubilee is marked by sounding the horn on the Day of Atonement. In this Jubilee all land that has been sold over the past fifty years is returned freely to the family group that originally owned it. Slaves were set free. Debts were forgiven. All aspects of life that had been pushed to the outside of God’s circles were pulled back. Back to the center. Back to God. Because, as God tells Moses:

“The land shall not be sold in perpetuity, for the land is mine. For you are strangers and sojourners with me.” (Lev 25:23 ESV)

Jubilee, and all of Leviticus, really, draws a clearly defined circle. It told them, and it tells us, “Everything inside this circle belongs to God. You are welcome to anything you find outside of this circle, but there is nothing outside of this circle. Not even you.”

As I have said, Leviticus is a guide to holiness. It is no coincidence that it is also a guide to justice, to fairness. The laws in Leviticus do not only make it possible to approach God, and live in covenant with God, they make it possible for God’s people to live together in peace.

With hindsight, we can see how the rules of Leviticus played out: once God’s people settled into Canaan, they played little games with God’s plan. They started inside God’s circles, but wandered out to see what the world had to offer. They repented when things got rough, but never seemed to make it as far back into the circles. Last year at Redeemer we followed the path of some of the Judges of Israel, as well as King David, and at most turns we see Israel taking one step forward, and two steps back. And sometimes they skip the step forward. We see the people draw their own circles around wealth and power and pleasure, ignoring the circles that God has drawn in Leviticus.

Until Jesus shows up. He goes to the synagogue on the Sabbath, and reads from Isaiah:

18 “The Spirit of the Lord is upon me,

because he has anointed me

to proclaim good news to the poor.

He has sent me to proclaim liberty to the captives

and recovering of sight to the blind,

to set at liberty those who are oppressed,

19 to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor.”

Everyone there knows what Jesus is talking about. At least, they think they know what he is talking about. Sound the horn! It’s the Jubilee, just like back in the day! Israel will get their land back! Jerusalem will be our capital, and we will no longer be second class citizens of the Roman Empire! God is redrawing the circles! And we will be inside!

His listeners dreamed of the ideal kingdom that Israel was supposed to, but never quite managed to, be. They did not imagine that it would be so much more than that.

20 And he rolled up the scroll and gave it back to the attendant and sat down. And the eyes of all in the synagogue were fixed on him. 21 And he began to say to them, “Today this Scripture has been fulfilled in your hearing.” Luke 4:18-21

The Good News had arrived. The Gospel, the Word, the Lamb of God was right there, walking among them. And Jesus was going to expand those circles to the ends of the earth!

With the death and resurrection of Jesus, all of the requirements of Leviticus are fulfilled!

We can meet God in any place, because Jesus has established the temple in us!

We can meet God at any time, because Jesus brings the Sabbath and Jubilee into our lives!

The community is washed clean in his blood, and all of us are priests!

And the sacrifices that were required to approach God have now been perfectly fulfilled!

This is not just good news for the poor and the captives, it is good news for everyone!

Yet many Christians act as though this were just advance notification of good news, something that is going to happen, at some time in the future. This is a problem I see with many Christians: they view the Kingdom of Heaven as nothing more than a reward that they will get after they die. It is that, no doubt about it, but it is so much more!

All of us still have the opportunity right now to choose which circles to dwell in. When you walk out of Redeemer ICC, which is a super easy circle for some Christians, what kind of circle will you step into? What kind of circles have you joined, or made for yourself?

Some people draw their circles around fame or power. They are drawing their own prisons, and Jesus is calling them to liberty!

Some draw their circles around friendship or family. They are drawing their own oppression, and Jesus is calling them to freedom!

We have all drawn circles around ourselves at times, putting ourselves in the center, drawing our own blindness. Jesus is calling us to see!

Some of us have fooled ourselves into thinking that being bound by any circle is a bad thing, but Jesus has drawn circles of freedom!

Freedom from a false sense of security! Freedom from the desire to be a winner! Freedom from the constant, anxious striving to get more stuff!

The circle that Jesus draws not only frees us from these prisons, it frees us to act! Freedom to show mercy, love and compassion! Freedom to fight against unjust systems and structures!

Read with me the words that Jesus said,

18 “The Spirit of the Lord is upon me,

because he has anointed me

to proclaim good news to the poor.

He has sent me to proclaim liberty to the captives

and recovering of sight to the blind,

to set at liberty those who are oppressed,

19 to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor.”

20 And he rolled up the scroll and gave it back to the attendant and sat down. And the eyes of all in the synagogue were fixed on him. 21 And he began to say to them, “Today this Scripture has been fulfilled in your hearing.” Luke 4:18-21

Come into the circle!

Sermon: Who is Gideon to Us?

I delivered this sermon on March 15th, 2020, so I am pre-dating this post. Here is the video:
Our pastor, Micah Mercer, very kindly edited out my pre-sermon fumbling around with the music stand, the microphone, my coffee, and myself. The sound is occasionally a little low, but he has done a great job of making me look as good as possible. It's just under 30 minutes, which is standard for our church these days.

This was our second service that was exclusively streamed, with only about eight people actually in attendance. I found it very challenging to preach to such a small congregation, even though I knew that many of our regulars were watching on YouTube, as well as my parents and a friend or two back in Kansas.

As for the sermon itself, I intentionally wrote it for an audience who has read Judges 6, 7 and 8 at some point. If you haven't read it, you should, whether before or after hearing and/or reading this sermon. I touch on the major points (as I see them), but I do not tell the story in a linear way. It came to me in a sort of looping way, and I attempted to deliver it as I received it.

A church member told me that she appreciated the way I got into Gideon's head, and Maxine told me that it is entertaining to watch me preach (in reaction to Gideon's panic mode). I felt pretty good about this one. It had been about 18 months since the last time I preached, and when I offered to preach this Sunday, I had no idea how busy my life was about to become. COVID19 was still a fringe thing happening in China, my semester was supposed to happen in classrooms rather than Zoom, and my family was all healthy. The week before I delivered it was crazy with getting my department geared up for virtual teaching, and I wrote more of it than I care to admit the day before. But God works through brokenness and poor plans, as I can attest, over and over.

Who is Gideon to Us?

Judges 6-8

And the LORD turned to him (Gideon) and said, “Go in this might of yours and save Israel from the hand of Midian; do not I send you?”

And he said to him, “Please, Lord, how can I save Israel? Behold, my clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my father's house.”

And the LORD said to him, “But I will be with you, and you shall strike the Midianites as one man.”  Judges 6:14-16

Lord God, open our ears to hear your Word. Holy Spirit, refresh us with good news. Jesus, be our way. Amen.

When I read Hebrews 11 and 12 about the cloud of witnesses, I did all right up until chapter 11 verse 32. When the author gets to Gideon, and tells us that he doesn’t have time to explain why, my first thought as a university professor is, “Did you do the readings at all? Because it feels like you kind of remember him from Sunday School when you were a kid, that story about how he defeated a swarm of an army with just 300 men.”

Who is Gideon to me? You see, when I go back and read Judges 6, 7 and 8, where Gideon’s story happens, I don’t see a role model, I see a mess. A coward, a doubter, a complainer.

An Angel of God came to Gideon, not even asking anything, but telling him, “The LORD is with you, mighty warrior.” Gideon’s response is to question this assertion: “If the LORD is with us, why has all this happened to us?”

He’s talking about Israel being oppressed by Midian for the past seven years. The Midianites would come in like locusts, steal all the food and livestock they could find, and cause no end of trouble. More men than you could count, the Bible tells us.

Gideon knew the stories of how God had brought the people Israel into the promised land, and how God had given the land to them. He had probably learned them as a child the same way that my son has learned about Greek myths. But more than that. Recently God had sent a prophet, unnamed in this story. We think of prophets as people who tell about the future, but this prophet told of the past, drawing attention to the present. The prophet said,

“This is what the LORD, the God Israel, says: I brought you up out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. I snatched you from the power of Egypt and from the hand of all your oppressors. I drove them from before you and gave you their land. I said to you, ‘I am the LORD your God; do not worship the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you live.’ But you have not listened to me.” (Judges 6:7-12)

So the stories and the prophet had to have been in Gideon’s mind, but he still didn’t quite believe them. He basically says to the Angel, “What has God done for us lately?”

Gideon seems to believe that the Angel is God’s emissary, yet he doesn’t believe what the Angel is saying, and has the nerve to put God to the test!

Jesus is quoting Deuteronomy 6:16 when he says, “Do not put the LORD your God to the test…” Not only is Gideon’s behavior contrary to scripture, it seems contrary to common sense! I like to think that if I had met an angel and heard God’s voice speaking to me, I would listen! I would obey!

Gideon’s doubts are so strong that it takes three miracles to get him to agree to the mission God has for him!

That said, Gideon does go on that mission. In Judges 6:34 we read that the Spirit of the LORD takes possession of Gideon, and that’s when he calls the troops together. This is Gideon’s big faith moment, the one that echoes back and forth through scripture, from Moses before him, to David after, and into Pentecost, when the Spirit of God was on the whole crowd, and on us today. That’s where Gideon shines. Not because he is brilliant, but because he does God’s will.

Then we come to the part of the story in which Gideon seems to do all right. This pattern seems familiar, because after our mountain top moments we all tend to behave well. For a while, anyway. Gideon follows the LORD’s instructions in assembling the army. The LORD doesn’t want him to lead too many troops into battle, because the LORD doesn’t want Israel to say that they won the battle by their own hand. The LORD should get the glory. So Gideon decreases his own army size from 24,000 to just 300 men.

Gideon leads his 300 men into the most unconventional battle since the walls of Jericho had fallen, many years before. His troops carried trumpets, and torches in clay jars. I will give Gideon some serious faith points for this one: it’s hard enough to risk your own life on something that seems so foolish, but leading 300 other people into what seems like certain death is a serious leap of faith.

The battle goes according to the LORD’s plan: The Midianites are routed. They have been tormenting Israel for seven years, and Gideon with his 300 men chase them relentlessly across the country. Finally, Gideon is a Bible Hero that does what we expect him to do.

But as I continue reading, that good feeling starts to fade. This is a war, and wars are ugly. But Gideon’s story turns dark, and it never seems to come completely back into the light. There is the usual bloodshed and carnage of war, and at one point Gideon is presented with the heads of two Midianite generals. The Old Testament doesn’t talk much about feelings, but at this point I imagine that Gideon is flooded with that feeling of being The Avenger. The bullies who had tormented his people were all dead fleeing, from an army not even a tenth of their size.

Also Gideon gets his revenge on those who do not help him along the way, whipping the uncooperative leaders with desert thorns to teach them a lesson. Our coward, Gideon, has become the kind of hero that we cheer for in the movie theater.

Our hero Gideon drives the Midianites out of the land. Afterwards, the people ask Gideon to rule over them, to be their king. Gideon gives a lovely speech that seems to embody the ideals of the Kingdom of Heaven. He says, “I will not rule over you, neither will my son; the LORD will rule over you.” (Judges 8:23)

If we stop reading there it feels like a pretty good story, in spite of the blood and gore. If Gideon’s story had stopped there, and he had gone back to his farm, it would have been a much happier ending.

Gideon does not take the throne, but he does ask for a tribute. A payment, for services rendered. He makes a request, very politely, which the people willingly fulfill for him. Gold. A portion of the plunder taken from the dead bodies of their former oppressors, the Midianites.

God had not wanted Israel to take credit for the win, so God made Gideon send away all but 300 of his soldiers. But one thing got in the way of that plan: Gideon was still there, with the 300. And Gideon was willing to take credit for the win, rather than give it fully to the LORD.

He was also willing to take a tribute of 43 pounds of gold. In chapter 8 verse 27 we read, “Gideon took the gold and made an ephod from it, and all Israel prostituted themselves to it there, and it became a snare to Gideon and his family.”

Who is Gideon? On my scorecard, Gideon does not do so well. He is slow to get into the game, with a weak start. He scores some big points in the first half, but he finishes poorly. The LORD’s goal of ending the Midianite oppression was successful, but I suspect that very few of you would wish to be like Gideon. So tell me, why does the author of Hebrews say that Gideon accomplishes so much through faith?

Maybe the answer is that God asked everything of Gideon, and used what Gideon gave.

God called Gideon a mighty warrior, and told him to save Israel from Midian’s hand. Gideon doesn’t directly say “no,” but he questions. He tests. He humbly asks for proof.

And when he gets that proof, he believes! He knows that he has been speaking to an Angel of God! But then in verse 23 we read the following:

But the LORD said to him, “Peace! Do not be afraid. You are not going to die.” (6:23)

Now it’s not just an angel talking, it is the LORD Himself. And Gideon thinks that he is going to die. That’s what happens when God gets right up in your business. It’s scary.

So Gideon is jazzed! He wants to serve! He’s so excited that he builds an altar to God right there and then. He was probably searching for rocks, and stacking them up, and telling himself, “I just met an Angel of God! And God talked to me! How cool is that?”

Then, that very night, the first instructions come. God tells Gideon to tear down an altar to Baal and an Asherah pole, and build an altar to Jehovah, the LORD. To you and me, that seems like an easy choice, especially after talking to an angel of Jehovah. But it’s actually a very risky move. Baal and Asherah are the local gods. People took their gods seriously. The men of town showed up the next morning and demanded Gideon’s life for tearing down those idols.

Jesus gives us clear instructions: to lay down your life, pick up your cross, and follow. Gideon had to know that he was risking his life in this action. He was testing God again, but this time if God failed him, Gideon would lose his life.

Gideon comes through the best he can. I can imagine what was going through his head as he gathered his servants together to tackle this project. “This is crazy! My friends and neighbors are gonna be seriously angry! And my Dad! Oh, Dad’s gonna kill me! Oh, God, you’ve proved yourself to me, but this is crazy!” Then as he and his servants are tearing the altar down, “Oh, please God, don’t let me get killed over this! This is crazy!” Then as he waits for morning, because I’m pretty sure Gideon didn’t sleep that night!, he was probably thinking to himself, “That was crazy! God told me to do it, but it was crazy! What have I done?”

When that crowd of angry men shows up at his door, maybe Gideon is resigned to his fate. Maybe he thinks this day will be his last. Maybe he has given up hope.

It doesn’t matter. God is sending Gideon to drive out the Midianites, and God has no intention of letting Gideon get killed in a minor skirmish.

So God wakes the faith of Gideon’s father Joash. Joash is a big man in town, with many servants, and a lot of land. Including the land with the Baal altar and the Ashtoreth pole. Joash’s faith has been slumbering as he focused on being a leader in his community, but Gideon’s actions, driven by God, wake up Joash’s faith! He comes to the defense of his son and his God.

He confronts the crowd of angry men, saying, “What kind of god is Baal that he needs you men to defend him? If Baal is real, he can defend himself. In the meantime, anyone who touches my son Gideon will be dead by morning!”

Now hope soars in Gideon, and he is thinking, “Thank you, God! You were right! I AM your warrior! You ARE with me!”

Who is Gideon to us now? He is clearly the up and coming hero. Gideon has witnessed God at work in his life, and he is open to the Spirit of the LORD.

So Gideon does his hero work, driving out the Midianites. When God tells him to decrease his army of 24,000 down to 300, he probably thinks, “Really? Just 300? Well… God saved me before, I guess God can do it again...” Gideon sends away 23,700 men. He is obedient, but I think he is doubtful.

We don’t get to know Gideon’s thoughts directly. The Old Testament rarely lets us know what people were thinking, but God knows. And God must have seen doubt in Gideon’s mind, because God says to Gideon, “If you are afraid to attack, go down to the camp with your servant Purah and listen to what they are saying. Afterward, you will be encouraged to attack the camp.” (7:10-11)

Gideon accepted the offer for a tour of the camp, so he must have been afraid. Where does fear come from? Doubt. When you doubt that God will come through for you, you feel fear. God can see your doubt, like God saw Gideon’s. And if you listen to God, as Gideon did, God will give you a little tour of reassurance. Gideon’s tour reveals that the Midianites have been dreaming of being destroyed by Gideon himself! And with that, Gideon’s fears are gone!

When God tells Gideon to arm his men with only torches and trumpets, Gideon is probably thinking, “The LORD has got this! Only trumpets and torches? No problem!”

What is Gideon to us now? The Hero, with a capital H!

The pursuit lasts for days, and Gideon’s troops are riding high on a string of victories. I think this is when Gideon’s thoughts begin to change from “I am on God’s side,” to “God is on my side.” It’s a small change in word order, but a huge change in meaning.

As it happens, this is where we notice something missing: no more conversations between the LORD and Gideon. The last one was when the LORD gave instructions for the trumpet and torch attack. From here on out, Gideon still talks about the LORD, but he no longer talks with the LORD. Not according to the book of Judges, anyway.

Maybe that’s the change that lets Gideon casually accept the severed heads of his enemies. When God was on Gideon’s side, Gideon became the punisher, whipping men with desert thorns. The executioner, killing prisoners in cold blood. And he knew that it was good, because he was totally sure that the LORD was with him, backing him up.

Who is Gideon to us now?

Gideon has not completely lost sight of the Kingdom of Heaven, but his vision is becoming ever more blurry as he moves forward, ahead of the LORD, rather than with the LORD.

In the end, Gideon gets the outline of the big picture. He doesn’t allow the people to crown him King. But he accepts their gold, and their praise. He has seventeen sons, for he had many wives, and a concubine in Shechem bore his son Abimelech. Judges 9 follows the tragic fruit that grows from these seeds.

Gideon died at a good old age, surely still believing that God was on his side. After all, he had accomplished what God had set out for him to do: to deliver Israel from the Midianites.

Maybe you recognize yourself in some part of Gideon’s journey. God is most definitely calling you to see his Kingdom.

Maybe you are still listening to the unnamed prophet, and turning the ideas over in your mind. Or maybe you are in the middle of the conversation with the angel.

Maybe God has answered your questions and consumed your offering, opening you to God’s Spirit. Maybe you have made the first moves, in spite of your doubts and fears. Maybe you’ve already routed the armies.

Maybe you’ve decided that God is on your side, rather than you being on God’s side.

So what is Gideon to us? To me? To you?

Let’s revisit our memory verse from January, Hebrews 12:1, “Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses…” Gideon is part of that cloud of witnesses. As we’ve seen today, Gideon is not a textbook example of practicing faith. Rather, he is an example of one way that the LORD works with faith in real life.

Gideon’s faith was not enough to make him perfect. You do not have to dive deeply into the Hebrews 11 cloud of witnesses to see that NONE of them had enough faith to be perfect.

Yet Jesus tells us in the Sermon on the Mount, “You must therefore be perfect, as your Heavenly Father is perfect, or you will never enter the Kingdom of Heaven.” (Matt 5:48) That’s after telling us to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us! Gideon is like the poster child for hating your enemies!

So who is Gideon to us, especially within this cloud of witnesses? And not just Gideon, either. These past few weeks as Micah has led us through Hebrews 11 and 12, he has pointed out how the people who make up this cloud of witnesses had problems. They were broken, imperfect vessels of God’s perfect faith. Each of them had a vision of God’s plan, some clearer than others. And each had a desire to make God’s vision a reality. But each of them, in their own fallen way, twisted and tweaked God’s plan, and poked at it, and bent it to make it a better fit for the world in which they lived. They tried to combine the Kingdom of the LORD with the reality that they were accustomed to.

Still, at heart, each in their own way had faith. They all felt assurance for what they hoped was real. Though their feet were planted in the world that we are so familiar with, their eyes were on God’s Kingdom. Having babies at 90 years old. Rising from slave to Pharaoh’s right hand man. Going to battle with torches and trumpets, attacking 20,000 men with a force of 300.

This cloud of witnesses.

What does a witness talk about? Usually not themselves. They talk about what they have seen or experienced. This cloud bears witness to God’s faithfulness. They bear witness to the fact that God used them in spite of their flaws. They bear witness to the grace of God, the forgiveness that flows freely, the undeserved love, and the protection of God. And they bear witness that when God plans for something to happen, it will happen.

In the here and now, we don’t face armies of invaders stealing our food. We don’t face being enslaved, sawn in two, or being persecuted in any serious way. Don’t get me wrong, there are Christians today who face real persecution. But not us. Not here.

Our battles are smaller, but in a way just as impossible on the surface. Jesus calls us to be peacemakers and healers, even when there is a virus that pushes us apart, labeling an entire ethnicity as lepers and enemies. Jesus calls us to love our enemies.

We all feel the need to be avenged for every insult and disrespect; it is a deep part of us, our sinful nature. But it is our calling to be on God’s side, rather than assume God is on our side.

The urge to gossip, to put down the weak and blame the poor. Society tries to convince us that this is how we survive, by putting ourselves first, throwing the other guy under the bus.

Maybe stopping to listen seems ridiculous to the world. Maybe forgiving someone who hasn’t even asked is the equivalent of attacking a larger army with nothing but trumpets and torches.

Maybe forgiving yourself is as hard as tearing down the altar where everyone in town worships.

The author of Hebrews tells us that this cloud of witnesses, including Gideon, are pointing us towards Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith.

That’s who Gideon is.

Lord God, thank you for giving us faith, for using us and loving us, though we are broken, misguided, and all but blind to your glory. Make us worthy to join your cloud of witnesses. Amen.